Creative Notes: wildest doodles and the deep thoughts
Good Morning
Oh, where do I even begin? For the last one and a half years, I’ve been locked in an epic showdown with a narcissist who clearly thinks I’m their personal punching bag. Breaking up with a narcissist? Hilarious! It's not just a simple “goodbye”! Oh no, it’s more like a never-ending sequel where they keep attacking until you’re all out of steam and barely functioning. They’ve swiped the most essential parts of my life, but apparently, that wasn't enough for them; even when I went radio silent, they kept the attacks coming. I’m really done talking about it, but here I am, writing this down so people can finally see the real monster behind the mask. If you know someone else stuck in this circus, do them a favor and help them unmask the clown. Trust me, that's the best way to stop them.
So, on May 9th, I was finally feeling like I might just escape this madness. I even booked a weekend getaway. But surprise, surprise! The airport turned into another game (this time it was not him; it was something else) and I desperately wanted to hit pause. I stumbled upon some delightful little tidbits about myself online, along with my pictures being taken and passed along who knows where. There were curious eyes everywhere. I spent 19 hours a day questioning my sanity while no one bothered to listen to me. So, naturally, I decided to spend the sunniest days of summer cooped up inside. Genius move!
And let’s keep it real🧐 I’m also broke now, which really adds a nice touch to the whole escape plan. How did I manage that? Well, I whipped up a couple of creative projects and emailed two different people about them because, you know, variety is key. But guess what? Crickets! Neither of them bothered to respond. Is this because of the delightful game I’ve been stuck in since May 9th, or did they just not want to hear my groundbreaking ideas?
I know I can change the world; that must be why someone keeps pulling my legs out from under me.
So, is the game finally over? What was all that chaos? Am I just a loser now?
Thanks for the clarity!
Are You With Me?
Yesterday, I put on a red hoodie but they were still too sweet! 🤗 Watching them felt so serene and I couldn’t shake off the thoughts of wildfires and the tragic losses in France, Italy, Turkey, Greece, Spain and beyond. I’ve been mulling over ways we can make a small but meaningful impact, and this morning, I shot off an email to an amazing person who’s been making waves with their projects.
We really can’t live without nature and our wild friends, they need our help right now!
Let’s get to making a difference! Sure, we might be a bit late, but hey, every little bit counts, right?
Hey everyone, it’s great to be back!
Today, I want to share some thoughts on mental health. First off, I’m not perfect, and I don’t believe in perfection. Life has its cracks, and I’ve come to love those imperfections, they’re part of who I am. I’ve faced tough times and periods that challenged me mentally, but I’m proud to say I’ve come through stronger. When I look back at my own writing, I can hardly believe how resilient I’ve become.
Sometimes, it’s not that we’re mentally unwell; it’s that the people around us feel distant or disconnected. In reality, nobody is truly “normal.” I’ve always had a passion for reading, especially books on psychology and philosophy. There’s something magical about diving into someone else’s life. It’s like walking in their shoes and understanding their thoughts and emotions, which deepens my appreciation for what it means to be human.
Lately, I’ve noticed some judgment from others when they see me driving, laughing, dancing, or even shedding a tear. Apparently, showing my feelings makes me “crazy.” But honestly, have you ever listened to Adam Sandler’s radio on Spotify without cracking a smile? If you haven’t, we should chat! And those upbeat 'EDM tracks' can you really listen without moving? NF’s music resonates with me on a deep level; it’s not just about tears, it reflects everything I’m feeling.
If being emotional means I’m “crazy,” then I’ll wear that label with pride. I value my vibrant emotions and embrace the beautiful chaos of being human. So, feel free to call me what you like; it doesn’t bother me.
I’M GOOD WITH WHO I AM.
Instead of spending a whole day chatting about cars, diamonds, scantily clad woman, and pricey shoes, how about we take a moment to glance at this map and figure out what on earth is going on in the world?
How Do You Sleep?
Not important!
It’s not even news, but it seems someone is having a meltdown since I dared to remove Instagram from my phone. So, in a brilliant move, she decided to have my neighbor sport a t-shirt covered in slogans. How original!
News flash: I’m not part of your war! The only battle here is the one you’re waging with yourself. Wishing you all the peace in the world.
Good luck with that!
Important Insight!
This afternoon, I came across a map that shows our air quality today.
It's a real eye-opener about how vital forests are! You can see that the most livable areas are usually close to these green spaces.
This map really illustrates the positive impact trees have on our environment.
Keep this in your mind as we appreciate nature for air! Clean air is vital for our well being and health of our planet and unfortunately, you can all see on this map how ill our planet is.
We are the reason for this illness, the question is: can we change? Yes, a bit! We are both the illness and the cure, because we live here.
Are you coming to the tree?
Learning: Fun
Eight days ago, I reached out to 112 to express my concerns about a troubling situation in a location. After the police arrived, I returned home, expecting to hear back about what transpired. I called them three or four times for updates, but each time, I was told to wait for a callback. As a mother, I deserved to be informed.
Finally, today, I had a visit from two officers. The male officer launched into a series of accusatory questions, suggesting that I should not driving to see my daughter in the future again. He even questioned my choice to be at home alone, implying there was something wrong with it. I live in my own house! why is that an issue? Does being single make me a target? Am I judged for not having multiple relationships?
When he asked what I was doing, I pointed to my computer! Let’s hope he likes reading.
It’s crucial to end the racism and perform your duties with professionalism!
Brain!
Anyone can be hired with money! Those questions were specifically designed to humiliate me!
There was a question in the “threads” : something you can’t buy with money? At that moment, someone was fighting me just like you, and I answered “brain.” I still agree.
Nonsense
Oh, here we go again!
I just stumbled upon a delightful little gem on a website something you might call an article, but I prefer “nonsense” from Bing. It was all about how to look more intelligent! And lo and behold, there was a picture of a woman in glasses, perfectly matching the pair I wore yesterday. So, thanks for keeping tabs on my wardrobe; you really know how to brighten my day!
But let’s get real for a second. Shouldn’t the focus be on actually becoming more intelligent rather than just looking the part? You’re really setting a stellar example for the next generation, aren’t you? Just so we’re clear, I don’t wear these glasses to seem smart. My vision is a little complicated, one eye’s got the short end of the stick, the other one’s got the long. I shouldn’t have to explain that, but clearly, some need a bit of clarification.
Let’s stop instilling jealousy and hate in the youth. We’re all on a one, way ticket to the same end, and life’s too short for bitterness.
Have a fabulous Sunday!
Truth or Dare?
Oh, look at me! It’s been very long since I last wrote anything. I thought I’d sprinkle some positivity into the world, so I just waited for that perfect moment because those exist, right? I had grand plans: extinguishing fires, creating bright futures for kids, saving animals, and pushing for faster, cheaper energy. You know, typical superhero stuff. Even during my darkest days, I kept the creative juices flowing. I was busy tackling forest fires, helping underprivileged kids, and dreaming up energy solutions while battling my own half-empty stomach in my delightful little dark room. Create to live!
And then there’s Steve Jobs! He claimed everyone he reached out to jumped at the chance to help him. How inspiring! Too bad I must have been born in a different era because that kind of enthusiasm has clearly vanished. I sent out emails like confetti, but replies? Crickets. Hope? Gone. All I wanted was for someone to listen, not to say “yes” or anything equally thrilling. Projects? Still gathering dust!
Now, let’s dive into the fun part: truth or dare? Spoiler alert: it’s both, because what I’m about to share is a real doozy. Buckle up for a summary of my life’s highlights: They poisoned my drinking water in the Netherlands (cheers!), tried to poison me with my takeout, and I spent months in a freezing house due to a gas leak. Oh, and let’s not forget the sabotage of my airflow machine and the charming gentlemen who attacked me every time I stepped outside, armed with knives, guns, and an impressive lack of decency.
My child? Just another pawn in this delightful game. They killed animals, including a bird (which, surprise, was apparently a metaphor for me), and desecrated a Quran, leaving it at my local mosque. Classy, right? Oh, and Nazi symbols? Just a little street art for the neighborhood. A policeman even decided to spit on the ground as he walked by my window. How trendy! Soon, everyone joined in.
They exploited my traumas so well, it could be an Olympic sport. Picture this: a man pulls down his pants in broad daylight while I’m charging my car. And the cherry on top? Thousands of nasty, baseless coded news stories about me what a thrill! My neighbors were bought off to join the circus, and suddenly, I couldn’t even go to the market for food. So, I sold my house and voilà—homeless in Europe, in 2025. A lovely time to be a woman, right?
If any of this had happened elsewhere, people would be outraged. But since it’s happening in the Netherlands? Silence. They took everything from me, but I’m still kicking. Now, I’m hopping from hotel to hotel, dodging pursuers at airports and on planes. What a fun game this is! The Crown! Yes, you heard me: the Crown game! And guess who’s got a target on their back? Here are a few pictures of those bad memories. Unfortunately, I have hundreds more, but let’s say I’m alive, for now.
ENOUGH ENOUGH
Remember, all humans should be treated with kindness and respect!
They used my child against me in this Crown game, and you remained silent. They obstructed my work and projects, tried to poison me with water, gas, food, and ventilation, and you remained silent. They killed animals, cut down and burned trees, and you remained silent. They bought off people, or those who looked like people, and set traps for me, and you remained silent. They used religion to try to divide people, and you remained silent. They placed listening devices and wiretaps in my house, monitoring me 24/7, and you remained silent. They took pictures of me and shared them with God knows who, and you remained silent. I saved my own life hundreds of times. The theatrical performances continue non-stop in airports, on planes, and in hotels! They didn’t spare Christmas or New Year’s. For the past two days, I’ve been living the hard times in Istanbul. People looked at me and laugh, or pretend to cough. A family with a child even moved to another line at passport control because I was behind them. I waited, talked, and explained to them that my daughter is almost the same age. She was two months old when I wanted a divorce, but I was threatened. Her father said if I divorced, I would never see my daughter again. I lived in a house for years just for my daughter. So my baggage was already heavy; and then this Crown game. Enough. Enough. Stop using children, families, and animals. Remember, all humans should be treated with kindness and respect.
Have a great weekend…
Today's Report
Meet my two furry buddies from Fethiye, the street cats I fed daily while my stay! I adore these whiskered wonders, I can't help but chuckle at the absurdity of people using animals in this dirty game. Seriously, folks, let’s leave the drama to the actors and let cats be cats! They’re more human than most of us anyway! No need to turn our furry friends into props for a dirty game. And while we're at it, can we agree to stop the bird and wolf drama too?
I was chosen. I didn't even know why I was chosen; to be killed? To watch in terror as my years were taken from me?
Why was I chosen?
Was it a struggle for the crown, or the cries for help from a prince who wanted to overthrow the kingdom? Did he dream of choosing me and building a new world together?
How foolish this prince must be, right? These royals, who live like kings, crushing the powerless with their crowns, jewels, and power, would they leave me alive?
I can change the world, and I've already begun to change it, that's true. I've unmasked most of them, that's also true. For months I've walked with a target in my heart, for months they've aimed at it every day. Either they would finish me, or I would finish them… the prince? Ha! He just watched! He threw me into the fire and just watched! He didn't even bother to explain all these ugly games, because he was a royal! He would choose someone, and if they killed that person, he would continue his life as if nothing had happened. He was a prince, and I was a target thrown right into the middle of all the guns.
The guns took everything from me, leaving me alone, cold, and homeless. My small house in the cheapest neighbourhood of the Netherlands was worth very little. I paid off the mortgage, but with the remaining money, I can’t buy a house in Turkey or Italy. It’s not enough. I’m spending that money now, and it’s running out fast. I don’t know how much longer I can continue like this, but not for long.
Everywhere I go, they keep playing games, attacks, and sabotages. I’ve decided to start giving you daily reports here. I’ll share every sabotage they commit daily. Today, “a woman,” who introduced herself as the manager, came to clean the Airbnb where I’m staying. I was in the kitchen/living room at my computer, while she was in the bathroom and bedroom changing the towels and bedspreads and cleaning.
Anyway, I asked her about the sabotage that happened to me yesterday. I told her that when I went to my (rental) car yesterday, the right window was completely open, and there were white stains inside. I added that it was very cold, and I don’t drive with the window open. I also emphasised that there was a camera monitoring sign and asked them to take a look. She said she would ask someone else and finished her work and left.
Then, she came to the door with a man and said that their cameras weren’t working. Are we surprised? No!
On my first day here, I did some shopping and bought myself baby shampoo. Today, I took a shower after bathing. I mentioned earlier that they did something to my hair. My hair hadn’t been dyed blonde in a long time, and despite constant maintenance, it just wouldn’t go back to how it used to be. My hair was always so strong and shiny.
Anyway, the baby shampoo, which was supposed to be a remedy, second day wasn’t transparent and smelled like medicine, not like baby shampoo anymore. So, I was right. They started adding something like medicine or poison to my shampoos, and that’s not new from the beginning on in the Netherlands until today!!
Then, I remembered the my new white dress hanging in the closet here. Even though it was the smallest size, it was a size too big for me but I bought it because I loved it so much. I only wore it for 2 hours on December 31st. The back was ripped. And there were a lot of stains on the hem. And the new mascara I bought at Istanbul airport few days ago, a mascara usually lasts me years because I don't use it much. I only used it once, and when I opened it to use it a second time today, it was gone. Before that, I found my favorite lipstick broken twice. Don't stoop so low. Kate! Enough!
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